Sometime We Don't Feel Like it....

It happens to everyone, some days and even some weeks we just don't want to lace up and get out there. There are a few ways to look as this... Am I being mindful or am I being lazy?? First question, why? Why do you not want to run? What makes you want to skip it? This week has been one of those weeks for me, holiday week, worked out every day but did not hit the pavement/trail as I normally would have.... I am deep in thought about 2013, planning, setting goals, making lists, doing a great deal of visualization. I am in my head... Today during my Yoga practice I realized that this time "off" from running is what will set my year in motion, learning to rest without the guilt, learning to enjoy the space between runs, learning to embrace the subtle shifts in the journey. This year will be mind over matter, this year will be about balance and bravery -- both on the run and within the rest and recovery. I do not have to win (and won't) but I will finish, by running happy, by running long, by savoring the rest, by moving forward on the run and off the run.

Rapid River Trail One Mile in at the bridge

The Support Crew

Took a test run with my new hydration pack yesterday, I think I am going to really like it! The test run got me thinking about gear and time out on the trails as well the support crews that are so vital throughout the journey. The race directors, the aid station volunteers, the other runners, the beautiful faces at the start and the finish line -- these people are all amazing and incredibly valuable. But on my run I thought about the husbands and wives, friends and family, the running partners and co workers -- all of these people play an integral part in the process. Without support we are alone, while running long is generally enjoyed as a solo sport -- it is the embrace at the end of the race that holds us up, that fills our hearts with content and connection. Here's to the sons and daughters, the husbands and wives, the mom's and dad's, the runner and non runner friends it is our support crews that holds us up when we most need it!

Can I -- really do this?????

Today I woke up at my normal 3am with this thought in my mind "What the hell am I thinking, there is no way I am an awesome enough ultra runner to ever think about completing this crazy plan I have concocted for 2013.." The heaviness of this thought weighed on me for most of the day. I continued to question myself, my spirit, my strength, my capacity to hold and to make it happen. I considered emailing a few Ultra runners that I know to get the peep talk I so desperately needed, I imagined them saying "This will not be the last time you question yourself, use this time wisely, focus your thoughts and believe in your journey, the strength of your mind will carry you through this next year." I never emailed anyone But I know that what I thought they would say was the absolute truth. this year will be more about my mind then my training, I have said it before the training is the easy part. The fact that I questioned myself today proves to me that I am ready to take this journey. The questions make me want it more.... I will struggle, I will think I am not capable, I will cry, scream and yell, I may even stomp my feet and beg to quit --BUT I will move ever forward, step by step, breath by breath. Today marks the journey of many, many miles, the journey that will take me to the pits of hell and the most beautiful place in this great state.... I am thrilled to be human, to be on this journey and to give it all my best....

Looking toward 2013

Santa has come and gone in the Crump Castle, now it is time to get serious with a big smile and hearty laugh! I am sitting down to create my 2013 list of plans and goals. This is one of my very favorite times of year, the psychological greatness of a new year is powerful and palpable. Each year I get a new notebook, I plan and set goals, I write lists, I make notes, I get so excited. The last two years of been pretty amazing, my fitness journey has taken flight and I am so happy for this. It has been the last year that has changed my life in ways I never would have imagined nor did I plan for or set goals to create. My first half marathon was on February 19th 2012 and I thought "I will do that again but I sure as hell will not run 26.2 miles forget that." -- now I am planning to run the entire Idaho Ultra Series which includes a 100 mile race. Something shifted in me, I cannot pinpoint it but I feel it and I am ready to cultivate it. In planning for 2013, I will log miles, run races, train hard, I will also enjoy the journey, the scenery, the friendships, I will continue to learn how to balance family with a running obsession, I will find new trails, new routes, I will find out new things about myself, my strengths and my limits. I will remain committed to my goals and flexible in my life.

To cultivate courage, commitment, drive and determination we must truly believe that we are capable of anything. Being persistent is the only way to succeed, it is in the work, the grit, it is between the lines of I quit and I will never give up. Everyday, every moment, is an opportunity for action. Running teaches me to press on, to move forward no matter what, running teaches me to believe I can and will. Being out on the trials for hours in forward motion both strengthens and weakens the mind -- being persistent with forward motion builds courage, commitment, drive and determination... Running teaches me that it is all about the journey.

The First Three Miles

I love to run, I love to run early in the morning, afternoon and night. Running is part of me and I am part of running -- it is mine... However I do not, have not, will not, love the first three miles. I do not love them in the morning, the afternoon or at night. I do not love them with a friend or on a trail I do not love them in a race or up a hill. The first three miles are a drag, I lag, lament and limp. Ahhh, but this, this is all temporary though the minutes feel like months, I know that the next mile is on the horizon. As I step into the fourth mile my heart lifts, my shoulders drop and I fly free, gliding above the ground. At mile four I scoot and scamper; I hit my zone and I go, I could run for miles and mile and miles. I love to run.... I love to run early in the morning, the afternoon and night. Running is part of me and I am part of running.

It all Started with Tough Mudder

I had run here and there throughout my life -- short runs 3 to 5 miles but I had not really run in a few years. My best friend and I signed up for Tough Mudder in July 2012 in Vancouver BC, I thought "Well, I better start running" so one day after my morning workout group I ran 2 miles and liked it. I kept running , I set a goal for 2012 to run 1000 miles. I started reading running books both personal accounts and trai

ning books-- I was hooked. After reading Born to Run I thought "I really want to do that.... how amazing would that be to run long distance." So I signed up for my first half marathon thinking I needed to start somewhere and at the time I thought 13.1 miles was really far! I ran my first half marathon on February 19, 2012 missing my goal time by 2 minutes disappointed but feeling more alive than ever I vowed to run another half to hit my goal time of 1 hour 48 minutes. I trained harder, I ran longer, I studied training guides and read more books about running I ran another half in May and nailed my time. I wanted more so I kept running.... I trained my heart out and realized that the longer I ran the happier I was, the better I felt. I suffered through a few injuries, I learned a bunch and a ran some amazing races-- Tough Mudder, Dirty Dash, Endurance Days FULL marathon, Race to Summit Half Marathon, Foothills Frenzy 50K, Grand Ridge 50K. Eight races in all for 2012, I hit my goal of 1000 mile 52 days ahead of schedule. I ran my first 50K 243 days after my first half marathon running has become a major part of my life, I feel more me when I run. I have fun when I run even when it hurts and I like that. Each week I set goals, I count miles, I run fast and slow, long and short -- I enjoy it... 2013 will be a crazy year as my goals are hefty. My journey to a 100 mile race has begun -- really it stated the moment I crossed the finish line of my first Half Marathon in Birch Bay. I will follow my heart, I will run hard, I will break through walls and I will do my very best. I will take the good, the bad and the ugly and I will apply it to the next run, the next race. I will share my journey with the hope that it will inspire, I will tell it like it is on good days and bad days. I will have fun!

IMTUF 100 2012

One day I was searching races in my area and stumbled upon a race called the IMTUF 100, I thought to myself "Hey, that would be a super fun volunteer opportunity." So I emailed the race director,Ben Blessing,who was more than happy to bring me on board. He wrote to me "If you are interested in running Ultras I will put you at the mile 92 aid station so you can see how people really are after running that far." I was pumped! I gathered a few friends to join me in the adventure. We loaded up the blue bus and set out on a weekend of fun -- we had no real idea of what to expect, we knew we wanted to support the runners, we knew we wanted to cheer them on, we knew we wanted to see it all! To say that the experience was fun would be an understatement. We arrived a day early to get set up, we went to the race start not knowing anyone -- it was 5:45am and 8 degrees outside, the runners were all super kind encouraging one another, wiggling around waiting for the start. At 6am the race was on, since we were at mile 92 we had all day and likely most of the night before we would see our first runner -- we used our time getting set up, chatting about the insane task these runners were undertaking, we went for a nice short 10 mile run. All day my mind was reeling with what these runners must be thinking, I was deeply inspired not only by the miles and the wicked crazy course -- but more importantly by the runners themselves, these people were amazing and family like, I loved the vibe that surrounded this race. My girls and I at Cloochman Saddle mile 92 were beyond excited when we saw our first runner at midnight! He seemed fresh and relaxed, after grazing a bit and chatting it up with us he and his pacer carried on. It was at that point that we looked at each other jaws dropped -- Holy shit was he even tired! None of us wanted to miss a single runner, we stayed up all night sitting by the fire willing the next runner to come into sight. We learned of several DNFs, we made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, mixed up the Heed, set out the M&M's, the peanut butter filled pretzels -- we enjoyed every moment--- all 32 hours of it! It was that day as the final runner can through our aid station that I vowed to my girlfriends that I would run this very race and I would finish!