Running Free

I hit the pavement at 4:38 this morning, the air was calm and smooth, my stride fell into sync within moments. A short run today; I ran without my watch, nothing to guide me but my breath, the rhythm of my heartbeat and the shine of the moon -- I ran free. As I rounded the corner to my turn at the rivers bend I felt a feeling of gratitude wash over me. Gratitude for my feet, my legs, my strong lungs, but maybe more than any of these things I felt a deep sense of connection to the space around me, below me and above me. Running at the bottom of the Salmon River Canyon alongside two rivers, with the moon shining bright, lighting my way, the silhouette of the mountains rugged with their strong embrace and the solid ground beneath -- today I ran free, today I ran with gratitude in my heart.

A Frosty Season Opener

The walk from the parking area to the race sign-in gave me shivers! The cold and the excitement were exhilarating. I was nervous, mainly because I had no idea what to expect. After check in I went to find a place to sit down to put on my running spikes, as I sat I felt a wet spot on the seat and realized that my hydration tube was on the open setting -- super wet running tights in below zero weather before a race... not good! A little embarrassed, I started to feel unsure of myself, but before that feeling completely flooded me I heard the call that the race was about to begin. I set off to the start, flicked on my head lamp and got my game face on, drowning out the voice in my head that said I did not belong here. BANG.... go time, we took off nice and easy. With no idea what the space around me looked like I focused on the trail ahead, running at an easy pace, climbing the first few hills with ease. After a few miles I found my stride and moved ever forward, four miles in I realized my hydration tube was frozen solid despite my efforts to do all the right things to prevent that -- it remained frozen for 14 miles.... I pressed on knowing that I need not be fixated on the problem, I just needed to run. The first aid station came up fast and was a delight, I love aid stations with my entire heart -- these people are amazing! I enjoyed some beef broth, got my spikes fixed, grabbed some M&M's and pressed on, 10 miles to the next aid station and a summit in-between, ROCK ON I felt great. The sun was up now and I was in awe of how beautiful it was, boulders round and smooth as big as houses, the sage brawny in the windswept fields, the day sparkled with the cold and I pressed on. I struggled to get to the summit, the snow deep in places and the footing mostly uncertain, I was grateful to have my running spikes even if I did have to stop and adjust them every few miles -- it was worth it especially on the decent. Coming into the next aid station was a joy,I get such a charge out of seeing the A.S volunteers, the encouragement, the food, the smiles are all fuel for me. I pressed on, two more miles and I would likely see my family, another boost for me during a race. I ran my heart out to the start/finish with 10 miles to go I felt great, super happy and loving it; it actually felt nice outside though I knew it was still very cold. My wonderful friends and family standing in the cold loving me, believing in me, it all made me feel warm and supported! Ten miles to go and the songs in my head got louder and louder, I sang out loud, told myself stories, bitched and moaned a little and laughed at my insanity. A few more miles to go, maybe six, maybe four, my watch was dead so I did not really know, I pressed on. As I entered the canyon, I stopped in my tracks totally mesmerized by the beauty and how tiny I felt among this chasm. I was moved to tears and felt something shift in me, I was doing something that I loved in the most amazing place, deeply grateful I pressed on. With each race I run and each mile that I train I learn something and I have learned that some energy reserve makes for a stronger happier finish. Many times the last few miles are the hardest for me, not this time I ran stronger and faster in the last four miles than I did the previous 26 I felt empowered. This race gave me many gifts but the one I value the most right now is the courage. Courage to press on alone for miles and miles and hours and hours in the cold. It was one helluva kick off to what is sure to be a radical year. Here's to running the the freezing cold and loving it!

4:17am: I am sitting in the bathroom in our hotel room sipping yesterday's coffee as a grand way to escape the not so yummy hotel coffee. My family sleeping sweetly in the room next to me. My gear is set out neatly across the edge of the bath tub, where later I will no doubt soak my tired, cold muscles. Hot water has brewed for my oatmeal and the bathroom heater is on full blast, my efforts to be warm in the moment will extend all day long. The current temperature is a balmy three below zero and will likely scoot up to 12 degrees by the time I cross the finish line. I look over my gear -- I am ready and my mind is made up, I will run with my heart -- today is a good day to run a Frozen 50K. 4:56am: My mind is dancing, daydreaming of the summit, the trinket I must retrieve as proof of my effort to reach the top. I am both focused and wiggly. The element of surprise is one of those things that in part I seek, that I adore and in other part that makes me squirm. The cold is no surprise today and that is what makes me squirm at the moment as I layer up for the day in the warmth of my hotel bathroom. But as always I believe I can and I will. Several hours from now I will celebrate my first finish of the year -- a year that will be epic, amazing, breathtakingly beautiful and pretty insane. But for now oatmeal for fuel, water for hydration.... I am on the run....

Race Anticipation

Clicking back and forth between the race website, the email from the race director and photos taken by others who have run the trail, visualizing, planning, packing, checking the weather, planning some more and running. Running long and short, running in my mind, running fast and slow, uphills and down hills -- trust the training and believe that you have done all you can for this particular race and then run less for a few days to give the muscles a rest. This Saturday will be a run like I have never really done, the amazing gift of a surprise around every corner adds another layer to the experience; in my little world I have a pretty good idea of what to expect daily -- I savor the mystery and the adventure of race day. The weather calls for low of 11 and high of 27 and seems to be getting lower each time I look. The one thing that will not be left to chance is the cold, I am geared up and ready to run, if I said I did not have butterflies running laps in my stomach I would not be telling the truth. The thrill of the starting line, the thrill of being surrounded by other runners -- a family of runners, the thrill of each corner, each ascent and decent. The burn in my quads and the battle in my mind, each step that leads to the next that leads to the finish line. Wilson Creek Frozen 50K first race of the year, first race of the series I salute you, I am ready to see what you are made of and I am ready to give you all that I've got.

Dear Running...

Dear Running, I have been meaning to write to you for some time. Last year we spent 1143.5 miles together, some days were a little rough, while other days we were on cloud nine flying down the trail headed for greatness! I love how our relationship has grown. As I got to know myself through you I was able to see things that I never knew I was capable of and I discovered things I could let go of, with you I found strength when I thought I was fully spent, we hit the road and the trail, I met new people and made new friends. It is so wild, I never knew I could think about one thing so often, honestly I think about you all the time, I plan my life around you, meal and sleep included! It is a darn good thing that you are so good for me because if we had a destructive relationship this would be a very bad deal. I guess I just want to say thank you -- thank you for leading me to myself, thank you for sticking with me from Half Crazy, to Full on Crazy to Ultra Crazy, thank you for the long hours of contemplation and for always being there for me even when I am not at my best! Thank you for a great year and for giving me the courage to set huge goals for myself and the power and strength to make them happen! Happy New Year Friend -- may 2013 be epic! All my love, Mariah

Marvelous Milege

Mile, miles, miles and more miles this is what we runners think about. I love to log miles, I love to clock miles -- when I was training for the Endurance Days Marathon, every time I went for a long drive (which is often since I drive 45 miles to get my groceries) I would measure 26.2 miles increments in all directions from my house. I am driven by miles, I set yearly goals for mileage, monthly goals and weekly goals. I love to set goals and to push myself to meet them, but if I learned anything from my running in 2012 it was to give myself the gift of flexibility--- life happens. In 2012 I logged 1143.5 miles, my goal was to hit 1000 by December 31st, surpassing that was awesome. Admittedly many of the specific mileage goals I set for certain weeks and months never got met and at times I was frustrated with my performance or lack there of. But in the end it all counted, it all taught me how to be a better runner, a lover of running, in the end I beat my goal and I became what I never knew I would become -- an Ultra Runner. As a distance runner you have to really love the miles, the hours on the trail, the time alone, the pain and suffering, the fun in the not so fun. My love for logging miles has taught me that I would rather enjoy fewer miles than loathe heading out the door to "just log miles". Here's to the miles and miles and more miles, here's to the hours on my feet, the pain in my muscles, the fun in the not so fun. 2013 is looking good, goals are being set and miles are being run!