Life.... it RULES!

Life has it's way and taking hold, opening up and giving you new and amazing perspectives. This blog post is in the works and well worth the wait -- in the mean time.... What would happen if you changed your perspective?

A Silent Conversation with myself and the wall

Ah yes a one hour run I am so excited -- and I really am. 85% of my max heart rate (155-165bpm) bam... And go.... Running... Why are the first few miles lame! Jeezz is this thing working (heart rate monitor) what only 137bpm and I am running a 8.4 min/mile -- either I am getting faster or this thing damn thing is broken -- fine I will take it to 7.5 min/mile... Running... Find your groove. And good heart rate steady... OOO I like this speed. Breathe, drop your shoulders, relax your hands, open your heart, bigger lungs, deeper breath, oh yeah reach into your back pocket -- practice form -- dang 137 bpm... Fast legs, feel good -- I dunno I will ask my coach... Okay take it down a notch... okay, I feel good 8.0 min/mile five miles in, this feels easy and good. I love running.... Yes, this is good heart rate a little low but what the heck. Pick up the speed and do not look at your watch for the rest of the time.... 8 minutes pass opps I peeked... Now I have to look! One more mile down. Strong run! Take it up notch or two 7.2 min/mile. I love this tread mill, maybe I should move the record player, oooo that plant is pretty. I need to sweep the floor, my son is such a good boy, wonder if he will like running. I wonder if I can break 7 miles in 60 minutes flat? I really want to, in fact I want 8 miles in and hour -- time... I know time, time and practice... Don't look at the TM screen... Running faster heart rate up into perfect range, smiling. Gotta look and YES bam boom bang. 7.39 miles -- stop. Breathe... Nice, I beat last Monday by .39 miles -- that is a start. (Personal pep talk) Good run lady "And the crowd goes wild" -- chuckle and laugh to myself. Cannot wait for tomorrows run! Heart rate training is awesome! (End silent conversation on with the day)

Deep thoughts from a runner lover -- ahhh life

Running holds many life lessons, it can answers the what if(s) and the why for(s), the what the(s) and maybe even the why me(s) 1) We must always move forward in order to make progress. 2) You are the only person responsible for your actions, your efforts. 3) Most times the most important thing is getting out there and trying. 4) If you do not try how will you know? 5) There are unknowns around every corner, but that does not mean you should not make the turn. 6) Winning isn't everything. 7) True peace comes with silence, movement and fresh air. 8) You are your own best competitor. 9) The most important element of success is placing one foot in front of the other. 10)It does not have to be fun to be fun. 11) When things get rough keep going it can only get better (eventually) 12) You are stronger than you think, when you stop over thinking 13) There is wisdom in the body moving, we just need to listen. 14) When you feel like quitting you have some much more to give. 15) The proof is in the pudding, I mean really who isn't hungry after a run :)

Running is Slowly Saving my Life -- as I Knew it and Know it

When I saw this picture I thought about how running is saving my life, at least as I know it. Over the course of my life time I have been heavy and thin, I have been an over eater and an under eater, I have been far too thin denying the fact that I was coping by not eating. It made me think about the fact that I used to be a full time smoker -- I smoked alone, with friends, when ever, where ever. Then I evolved into “just” a social smoker, even though I knew better. Looking back I started and quit many times. Why start again you ask? I can mark it with trauma, deep sadness and massive anxiety and frankly I liked it, I knew better and I knew I was “being bad”. Then I got pregnant and said never again, and then winked at myself on the inside, knowing that for some crazy reason I found escape in the process of smoking. I quit for a long time, tending my son -- growing my life. After Gage came into our lives, I took a look at myself and with the help of a few amazing friends I got into the best shape of my life, I did P90X, I did Mudder, I became an advocate for health and more importantly wellness, I started running as a part of my health and wellness, I was hooked. I ran half marathons, full marathons and to date 10 Ultra marathons between the years 2012 and 2013. Laced in this time I made incredible changes in my life, growing, learning, stumbling and falling, excelling and failing. I have workout out for hours a day and laid on the couch for just as many, I have run 100 miles in less than 33 hours; I have skipped training days and sat around beating myself up claiming I was not good enough. I have smoked, gained weight, lost weight, lost track and gotten back taking charge of this beautiful life. I believe that every day brings a new start and love that I have a strong connection with the sunrise. I have always seen the best in people and have learned that I am allowed to see the best in me too. I have not always been at my best, who can say they have? I have not been a perfect specimen of health throughout this process but what I know for sure is that running is slowly saving my life, making me see more clearly, feel more clearly, be more clear with who I am and what I want to give the world. Running is teaching me that the human body is a machine and needs to be tended to and that the mind and heart can be mended with time and with miles and perhaps best of all, the willingness to grow; to soar through the mud, and emerge on the surface something gorgeous and magnificent. The take away – look at your life, embrace it, embody it and then move forward glorious, magical, humble, brave and happy! You matter!

Running -- a Marriage

Running has this way of sweeping you off your feet in the beginning. It is like the only fresh breath of air you could never have imagined taking and you often wonder "What did I do without my darling love, Running?" We change when we start running in ways that can only be measured by the person who puts on their shoes everyday and makes contact with the earth, while at the same time taking flight. It is unique like each of us who fall so deeply in love with it. In the beginning, we will do anything for our lover, anytime, anywhere -- we just want to make sure that we are progressing just the way they are meant to be, falling deeper in love, building and understanding... Time moves and the level of commitment intensifies and the day come that we dive in for the life long commitment with our soul mate, the sweet love that helped us evolve and grow into the person that we are on that day. The wedding, the honeymoon, the settling into a wonderful routine -- all magical and yes we must work for it and we do. Time moves forward, as only time can, and one day it is raining "too hard" to go out and run and in the next few weeks we notice that things keep popping up and we are struggling with the "the run". It takes more effort, and sometimes we are up for it and sometimes we go through the motions, but we keep trying. Sometimes we fight and scream and stomp down the trail and sometimes we are silent, watching and wondering what to do next, what will be around the next corner. One day our running shoes peaking out from the shoe closet speak to us -- "Come on buddy, it is time to hit the trail/pavement for a long slow run, clear your head and run, run, run." We get out here, out from under all the obligations and responsibilities of life and we remember, life has a way of getting in the way of love and living, it sneaks up and before we know it we are too busy, too tired, we are bored and so many other natural emotion felt by the best of us. We remember that we are in this for the long haul -- rain or shine, we ride the waves of greatness and the magic that lives in the daily run. And we run on....

Time to Run

It has been 11 weeks since I ran IMTUF -- the race that two years in a row changed my life in ways that are beyond beautiful -- both as a runner and as a human! It has been a 6 weeks since Foothills Frenzy, my final ultra of the year -- the race with will forever live in my heart. I have taken the last several weeks to settle in and do some mindful reflection and frankly some time to just check out. I have spent time doing nothing, I have run here and there, practiced Yoga and been deeply honored by my community with an incredible celebration of my completion of the ITUS (which filled my heart to no end). The photos below just show a few of the magical people that have supported me on this journey.

Again, I reflect. Running is mine, running is me, running is my way of coping with life, running helps me cultivate a better me. It is my time to think, to be creative, to stay fit, running has helped me be a good role model for my son and my community, running has shown me that I CAN and WILL and DO! I have been working to accept this not running time, uninspired and needing a break -- two things I do not normally feel or take. However, it has given me time to look for balance, to accept help from my close friends and to spend time with my family. BUT IT IS GO TIME! This girl is growing her heart! I am ready to explore a new form of training and completely thrilled to learn and grow as a runner. I have been on blackout drive for months upon months and I am learning that less can be more, that being a human is amazing and having a team is food for the soul -- be it a team of two or ten and I have so many different teams my heart overflows! I am looking forward to some alone time on the roads and trails. I am looking forward to few ultras next year as well as some shorter races, I look forward to meeting new people and inspiring a few more along the way. This is me, this is my life and I am happy to shift, wiggle, learn and grow.... Run on friends!

ITUS Finisher

At last I sit down to write up my reflections on an amazing year! This year was long and luscious, run after run I settled into my Ultra Running self. Each race provided a foundation for the next -- in more ways than building endurance and strength. My foundations came in many different packages, bravery, courage, confidence, support, weakness, willingness, the fight, the effort, the unyielding desire to more ever forward -- I grew fierce with each step. If you were to ask me "How did you do it, right out of the box?" The short and simple answer is DESIRE -- I wanted it period... that is clear, yes I needed to be committed, steadfast, I had to push hard and not give up, I had to believe, I had to take a bite out of each race and tell myself "YES YOU CAN." I never once doubted myself (at least not for long) I couldn't, there was no time for that I had to keep moving, keep believing despite bumps and falls along the way; I had to fuel my desire! The longer answer to how I made it through all 8 races is both simple and complex, like all other things in ultra running, SUPPORT.

I had people who cared about me and my running, and this crazy thing I decided to do -- I had support even if I did not have a full understanding of why the hell I was doing this (thankfully I do not need that). I have a son who looks up to me, watches me, learns from me and imitates me. I have a family who I want to make proud, I had people relying on me to finish and to finish strong with a tale to tell. The love and support fueled my desire, when I was out there all alone begging for the strength to keep moving, the faces of my family and my fiends flashing in my mind, the thought that they were at home, or at the next turn cheering me on, waiting for me, believing in me. I did not want to let anyone down!

It is a mere three weeks since the final race of the ITUS -- this picture above shows without question my joy, my deep sense of completion and total elation! Since the finish line of the Foothills Frenzy I have felt a shift in my spirit -- a sense that I have a deep grasp on what I am capable of... When it comes down to it, be it running, raising a child, being a strong, loving wife, a quality friend, a good human and/or a great teacher; it all comes down to desire, if you want it... go for it. I have never believed so much in personal drive, commitment and the fact with all it takes is YOU to decide "I want to ________.", than I do right now. The ITUS was this crazy amazing gift, beyond my strong legs, powerful heart and propelling arms -- the ITUS provided me with a new lens to see more clearly the potential in all of us. I have and will continue to encourage and hopefully inspire other people to seek something wild wonderful and seemingly out of reach -- when people tell me "No way can I do that..." My reply is simple, if you want it, you most certainly can and I can prove it! I saw some absolutely amazing runners out there on the trails -- people who refused to give up, people who were on a mission, who wanted to cross the finish line for reasons so personal, so profound, that words cannot explain -- go to a finish line and see for yourself, PEOPLE ARE POWERFUL! To tie all this up and move on to the next run, the next race, the next adventure I will share the top five things that I learned my first BIG year of Ultra Running; 1. Trail Markers are a sign of hope and purpose especially at night. 2. Encouragement and support are essential on the long run, generally manifesting in an awesome Aid Station or an amazing crew. 3. It does not have to be fun, to be fun. 4. Power-hiking a lethal weapon in conquering 100 miles! 5. Riding the epic waves of emotions during a long race is both empowering and humbling.

Foothills Frenzy 2013

The cherry on top, the frosting on the cake. The Frenzy is a perfect way to top off a fantastic season of ultra running. Jenny the RD and all of the volunteers run a solid event that provided this year a 100% success rate, NOW THAT IS VERY COOL! The day started out much like the previous 7 race mornings this year had, I woke at 3:30, rose at 4:00 -- took some time to eat, stretch and drink. During my drive to the race start I was struck by how confident I felt, I am getting good at the race thing I thought. I was not nervous but rather just plain excited to run and to see some friends out on the trail. Upon arrival, I was warmly greeted as I pick up my race bib, I wandered around, gave and received hugs, exchanged smiles and felt a deep sense of peace.

I felt like I was among family, an ultra rad family. After a beautifully sung anthem it was time to run. We headed out fast as the level of excitement was palpable. For the first time this year I had a very good idea of what to expect course wise -- this was my first repeat. As we traversed up into the foothills I watch the bouncing headlamps ahead and behind and could not help but smile -- we lite up the hill side with passion, enthusiasm, commitment and hard work! The moment was perfect, the trail conditions comfortable, I felt good. I soon realized that my climbing legs were still really tired from Standhope, tight hamstrings and hips. I had come into the Frenzy thinking "Hmm it would be great to PR this race." At around mile 12 I tossed that idea and decided to have fun and not try to kill myself out there. Early in the year, I learned that you should never ever change the game plan in the middle of the game -- a PR was a game changer. Back to plan number one -- finish strong, have fun. Since this was number 8 I wanted to run well and top off the ITUS with a smile. Up and down and all around we went, I ran hard down the hills and climbed to the best of my legs ability. I knew the last 5 miles would be a push and I knew that those last 5 miles felt like 10, so I ran them hard, passed several runners and caught a glimpse of the finish line before I knew it.

The Frenzy finish was multi-layered! Super happy to have crossed the Frenzy finish line and perhaps even happier to have crossed the ITUS 2013 finish line. But that is another story.....