Ultra Real

I have been reflecting, as long distance runners we have a lot of time on your hands to think as we train. First the highlights --March 11th I ran 39 miles my furthest run to date --March 29th I ran 51.5 miles in the Pickled Feet 12 Hour, I came in 3rd for women (pretty cool) --April 17th I ran a 25 minute 5K (my best to date, and my first attempt) Forty eight days ago I ran my furthest run, 18 days after that I ran over fifty miles and felt a big push in my soul that I had truly entered into the world of Ultra running. But it is the last 30 days that I am reflecting on... this blog is meant to be the 'Journey to My first 100 mile Race' and a journey is certainly filled with highlights, it is also sprinkled with low lights; times when the click won't click, times when there is more questions than answers, times when we feel out of place, out of sorts, unsure, deeply reflective and frankly unmotivated to do what we truly, unconditionally love to do. The low lights --Post race ankle injury (bummer, but alas part of the sport) --My bodies unwillingness to get out of bed predawn --My minds banter and tremendous amount of reasons I gave myself to stay in bed/to not run --Self doubt (holy S%#!, so you are saying I am human....WHA???) --Runners blues (I should really start picking on my banjo again -- boy could I sing a story) Truth... I could go on and on and on and this is precisely why I am sitting down to write. While out on my run this morning I thought about the list above, of the good, bad and ugly -- the highs and lows; I thought about the advice I have received from fellow ultra runners, I thought about the support I have received from my husband and my family, I thought about my goals, and the list of races I plan to complete this year. BEWARE if you decide to dive into running long distance you will suddenly find a ton of time and space to think :) So... The best part about the ups and downs, for me, is when I come back around in a true refection. Why do I run ultra distance? I run far because when I am out there that is my task -- what am I doing?? I running, period. I am running because I love to run, I love how it feels and where it takes me. Why do I train hard? Because I am driven, I am over the top, I am seeking, I want more and honestly I need it, this is all part of who I am and it is these parts of me that teach me that rest is good and that the time off that may feel lazy and self indulgent is actually honest communication from my body. Why do I fight the fact that I am capable runner? Why do I doubt my abilities? Why I do want to write about this for anyone to read? Why admit the lows? Why not yell out from the mountain tops all the highlights of my journey and nothing but? Why, because the fact of the matter is without doubt, without fear, without the self deprecation I have no possible way of rising above... to rally... to run with heart and soul, to run with guts. The lows give me power to overcome and to get my ass out there and run. It is my mission with this blog and with my life to be my best at keeping it Ultra Real. I am inspired by many, I am supported by many and it is my sincerest hope that with all that I am, I will inspire and support many with the deepest of respect and understanding. So go ahead dive in, sink then swim.. Up and out, then repeat that!

Hats off to Ultra Runners!

Are your feet pickled yet?

Leading up to my first 12 hour night run -- the jury in my head was scrutinizing my ability "Are you really a runner?" "Do you even belong in this ultra running community?" "What the hell are you thinking?" "You have been sick for 10 days, you are not at the top of your game!" Shaking my head of these crazy thoughts I set my sights and as always I set them high -- the goal 50 plus miles, run strong, run long, eat and drink well -- face your fears, you are a long distance runner, you got this. In the two days leading up to the event I rested a ton, laughed a lot and visualized myself running happy. Waiting for a night time event is tough. Sleep was not happening the excitement was brewing -- no... it was boiling... Prepped my bag, packed, unpacked and packed again -- I was ready in every way, calm and confident (finally). As we pulled into the park my heart raced and my eyes sparkled it was time. Race briefing, potty break, game time. The clock struck 6pm and the horn blew, we ran and ran and ran and ran. I came out strong and fast, four loops in and I had not stopped at the aid station -- forward motion was my mantra. The first 15 miles went by really fast, I watched the sun go down and the moon rise. Twenty five miles in time to slow it down a little, it was going to be a long night. I got very comfortable running with the night sky, spending more time running solo on the trail that I had expected. I had come into the race with a serious sinus infection and at mile 37 I blew a snot rocket that looked like an amoeba, the pressure released-- I never looked back, I ran with more freedom in my body and in my head. It is amazing how quickly things can change on the long run, at mile 40 I melted down, my heart was beating fast and hard, my emotions were off the hook and I was freaked out, emotional and nauseous. Emily,one of the race directors talked me down, gave me some ginger ale and sent me on my way, more connected and in touch with the the job at hand; to reach my goal I needed to run 10 more miles, it was in the bag or was it??!! I love to do math as I run but at mile 40 I could not calculate what I needed to run in order to make my goal. I decided to forget the mind numbing calculations and just run -- I remembered the visualizations I had the day before of me running happy, so for 5 mile miles I ran happy and smiling. Mile 45 melt down number 2! I called my husband (who was in Las Vegas at the time -- yes it was the wee hours of the morning) he was up and ready to talk me back to good. It is in these moments that a long distance runner does not want to answer a bunch of questions, I wanted to be talked to, I wanted to listen then I wanted to finish this run. I trotted fast as he spoke, he assured me I had plenty of time and would likely run more that 50 miles, I believed him. I ran. I crossed the finish line a few moments before 6am with 51.5 miles. I did it! I learned so much, felt deeply supported by my friends, family and the ultra running community. I feel grateful to have landed into such an amazing group of runners. My training for Silver City is underway and the Journey to IMTUF 100 is in full effect with two races down and nearly 400 training miles under my belt. The race directors had placed a few signs along the trail -- I had two that fully resonated with me "What I think expands." and "I finish what I start." You bet!!

Thirty Nine

The plan was to run 39 miles on my 39th birthday in under 8 hours. I set out at 4:50am, ran town a few times and as dawn graced the bottom of the Canyon I headed up river. When I set my mind to a certain number of miles, many miles can feel like few. I ran and walked, I savored the celebration of the day. How lucky to be out running 39 miles in the warmth of the sun on the 39th anniversary of my birth (thank you Moma). I saw Song Sparrows, Dark Eyed Juncos, Hooded Mergansers, Stellers jays, many geese a flyin', a skunk --thankful he scared me more than I scared him-- that was likely the fastest I ran all day! I sang to the sky and the river, I ran well, with freedom and fearlessness. I had a few amazing friends visit me along the way and my wonderful husband and awesome son ran along with me for a mile or so -- according to Gage this was "Mama's birthday race." With 11 miles to go I stopped for a snack, peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich; I peeled off some layers, called my Moma to wish her a happy "birth" day and then set out to get this thing done. I glided,39 felt really good. I finished strong running a 9'2' mile for the final mile of the day, total running time 7 hours 44 minutes! The training is paying off there is no doubt, but the more and more I do this the more I realize that my mind and my heart know how to run far and because of this I am a starter and a finisher. Sixteen days till the Pickled Feet 12 hour run, my heart and mind are ready. Believe and Achieve!

Races

Today is March 2nd, it is 4:46am and I just signed up for the IMTUF 100 mile race. OH MY! I am so excited, that real "feel" it in the pit of your stomach kind of excited; laced with nerves, in that way that you want to laugh out loud to balance out all the feelings on the inside. I have surly gone out of my mind, the fact that I have the audacity to believe I can finish this race and all the other races in the Idaho Ultra Series is proof that I am a nut job, a driven nut job albeit. I rarely enter into anything without a plan -- so what's the plan? I am workin' on it. One race down, five races till the IMTUF 100, with countless miles in between and two more races after that to round out the series. I vow to enjoy the process, to work hard, to conquer fears and to keep the faith. I will explore trails, log miles, and run at night. I will embrace the moments when I question myself and then I will brush them to the side and go for a run. Here's to the process, the adventure and the craziness of it all.

Running Anniversary -- My "I am a Runner" Birthday!

It's not that I was born to run -- I am pretty sure that is not the case; however what I do know is that running makes my life better. I live for it and I live really well with it -- I am good runner, not great, likely I will not win races but I WILL finish them and I will love nearly every step :0 One year ago today I ran, enjoyed and crossed the finish line of my very first half marathon. Climbing the massive hill, I had no idea was part of the course, I was certain my heart would explode; crossing the finish line I knew my heart would overflow with the joy of completing something I have work so hard to train for. I was hooked! The feel of race day, the group of runners gathered together, the wind in my hair, the competition, the thought that my husband and son would be waiting for me at the finish line big smiles, clapping and yelling "GO MAMA GO!" The feeling is like no other, I will say I race for the training, the goal, but I love race day -- I feel alive and vibrant, I feel inspired and inspiring, even when the race is tough I know I am there because there is something to gain, something to learn, something to take home.... Today was the best day ever, I ran 13.11 miles as a celebration of how far I have come in one single year -- from half crazy to ULTRA crazy. This journey is very much my own -- however I know that my journey touches many lives because it makes me sparkle and sharing my sparkle is what I do. Today and everyday I am grateful for the run, for my legs, my lungs, my heart, I am thankful for my determination and the fact that I live under the belief that we can do anything that we put our minds to. My heart is overflowing!

Running with Math

Several months ago my running partner and I were out for a nice 12 mile run, we were quietly making our way up a hill and she turned to me and said "Are you counting?" We both laughed.. YUP, I was. I love to count things on the run and everywhere else. I love to play with numbers even and odd -- my very favorite number is eight but whose counting (: I add up miles, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. I count the number of times I would need to run the length of my small town to reach 16 miles. I count breaths, birds on the run, I count minutes and hours on the run, sometimes I count the moments, especially if I am hungry and have no food. I count the number of miles I plan to run in one year of races. On the long run I count the steps to the next snack, I count several trees ahead when I tell myself it is okay to walk for a few minutes. While there is marvelous meaning in the numbers that I love to count it is the process that I enjoy, the intention I set with the numbers and my relationship with them. Filling time and space with movement and forward motion. For me doing math on the run is as fun as the run....

Live with Intention

I have been teaching yoga for five years, practicing since 1992, seriously for shorter periods of time in my life, spanning into longer periods spanning into years, landing on today. I have discussed "intention" both as a practioner and as a teacher. Today I discovered this idea "What if we set an intention for all the different things we do in our lives -- disciplining our children, cooking a meal, our work projects, our workouts, readings, writings, long runs and short runs, races, interactions with friends and loved ones. Setting and sharing an intention reveals who we are, it also allows us to regroup and reassess if things go astray, intention infuses life with meaning. I open each of my Yoga classes inviting my students to set an intention for the practice -- my go to phrase is "Take this moment to set an intention for your practice, bringing meaning to the movement, the breath and the space in-between." As I set out for my run today I pause and breathe in the moment reaffirming the fact that this is where I want to be, what I want to be doing, this is part of me, this is a gift, as natural feeling as my favorite running shoes and in that moment I set my intention to set intentions in my life, to follow through, to keep it real, to enjoy, to inspire and to be inspired.