I have been reflecting, as long distance runners we have a lot of time on your hands to think as we train.
First the highlights
--March 11th I ran 39 miles my furthest run to date
--March 29th I ran 51.5 miles in the Pickled Feet 12 Hour, I came in 3rd for women (pretty cool)
--April 17th I ran a 25 minute 5K (my best to date, and my first attempt)
Forty eight days ago I ran my furthest run, 18 days after that I ran over fifty miles and felt a big push in my soul that I had truly entered into the world of Ultra running. But it is the last 30 days that I am reflecting on... this blog is meant to be the 'Journey to My first 100 mile Race' and a journey is certainly filled with highlights, it is also sprinkled with low lights; times when the click won't click, times when there is more questions than answers, times when we feel out of place, out of sorts, unsure, deeply reflective and frankly unmotivated to do what we truly, unconditionally love to do.
The low lights
--Post race ankle injury (bummer, but alas part of the sport)
--My bodies unwillingness to get out of bed predawn
--My minds banter and tremendous amount of reasons I gave myself to stay in bed/to not run
--Self doubt (holy S%#!, so you are saying I am human....WHA???)
--Runners blues (I should really start picking on my banjo again -- boy could I sing a story)
Truth... I could go on and on and on and this is precisely why I am sitting down to write. While out on my run this morning I thought about the list above, of the good, bad and ugly -- the highs and lows; I thought about the advice I have received from fellow ultra runners, I thought about the support I have received from my husband and my family, I thought about my goals, and the list of races I plan to complete this year. BEWARE if you decide to dive into running long distance you will suddenly find a ton of time and space to think :) So... The best part about the ups and downs, for me, is when I come back around in a true refection. Why do I run ultra distance? I run far because when I am out there that is my task -- what am I doing?? I running, period. I am running because I love to run, I love how it feels and where it takes me. Why do I train hard? Because I am driven, I am over the top, I am seeking, I want more and honestly I need it, this is all part of who I am and it is these parts of me that teach me that rest is good and that the time off that may feel lazy and self indulgent is actually honest communication from my body. Why do I fight the fact that I am capable runner? Why do I doubt my abilities? Why I do want to write about this for anyone to read? Why admit the lows? Why not yell out from the mountain tops all the highlights of my journey and nothing but? Why, because the fact of the matter is without doubt, without fear, without the self deprecation I have no possible way of rising above... to rally... to run with heart and soul, to run with guts. The lows give me power to overcome and to get my ass out there and run. It is my mission with this blog and with my life to be my best at keeping it Ultra Real. I am inspired by many, I am supported by many and it is my sincerest hope that with all that I am, I will inspire and support many with the deepest of respect and understanding. So go ahead dive in, sink then swim.. Up and out, then repeat that!
4/28/2013
Ultra Real
I have been reflecting, as long distance runners we have a lot of time on your hands to think as we train.
First the highlights
--March 11th I ran 39 miles my furthest run to date
--March 29th I ran 51.5 miles in the Pickled Feet 12 Hour, I came in 3rd for women (pretty cool)
--April 17th I ran a 25 minute 5K (my best to date, and my first attempt)
Forty eight days ago I ran my furthest run, 18 days after that I ran over fifty miles and felt a big push in my soul that I had truly entered into the world of Ultra running. But it is the last 30 days that I am reflecting on... this blog is meant to be the 'Journey to My first 100 mile Race' and a journey is certainly filled with highlights, it is also sprinkled with low lights; times when the click won't click, times when there is more questions than answers, times when we feel out of place, out of sorts, unsure, deeply reflective and frankly unmotivated to do what we truly, unconditionally love to do.
The low lights
--Post race ankle injury (bummer, but alas part of the sport)
--My bodies unwillingness to get out of bed predawn
--My minds banter and tremendous amount of reasons I gave myself to stay in bed/to not run
--Self doubt (holy S%#!, so you are saying I am human....WHA???)
--Runners blues (I should really start picking on my banjo again -- boy could I sing a story)
Truth... I could go on and on and on and this is precisely why I am sitting down to write. While out on my run this morning I thought about the list above, of the good, bad and ugly -- the highs and lows; I thought about the advice I have received from fellow ultra runners, I thought about the support I have received from my husband and my family, I thought about my goals, and the list of races I plan to complete this year. BEWARE if you decide to dive into running long distance you will suddenly find a ton of time and space to think :) So... The best part about the ups and downs, for me, is when I come back around in a true refection. Why do I run ultra distance? I run far because when I am out there that is my task -- what am I doing?? I running, period. I am running because I love to run, I love how it feels and where it takes me. Why do I train hard? Because I am driven, I am over the top, I am seeking, I want more and honestly I need it, this is all part of who I am and it is these parts of me that teach me that rest is good and that the time off that may feel lazy and self indulgent is actually honest communication from my body. Why do I fight the fact that I am capable runner? Why do I doubt my abilities? Why I do want to write about this for anyone to read? Why admit the lows? Why not yell out from the mountain tops all the highlights of my journey and nothing but? Why, because the fact of the matter is without doubt, without fear, without the self deprecation I have no possible way of rising above... to rally... to run with heart and soul, to run with guts. The lows give me power to overcome and to get my ass out there and run. It is my mission with this blog and with my life to be my best at keeping it Ultra Real. I am inspired by many, I am supported by many and it is my sincerest hope that with all that I am, I will inspire and support many with the deepest of respect and understanding. So go ahead dive in, sink then swim.. Up and out, then repeat that!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Great reflection. Along the way to my first 100 miler at the Bear 100 in 2011, I realized the learning, growth, and true self discovery came NOT from the highs but the lows. That is where you will truly learn about yourself, what motivates you, what keeps you going, and more importantly why you will refuse to give up when the going gets tough, because it will. But you will have crossed those bridges already and the difficulties will all roll away as you move confidently toward achieving your goal.
ReplyDelete