Life.... it RULES!

Life has it's way and taking hold, opening up and giving you new and amazing perspectives. This blog post is in the works and well worth the wait -- in the mean time.... What would happen if you changed your perspective?

A Silent Conversation with myself and the wall

Ah yes a one hour run I am so excited -- and I really am. 85% of my max heart rate (155-165bpm) bam... And go.... Running... Why are the first few miles lame! Jeezz is this thing working (heart rate monitor) what only 137bpm and I am running a 8.4 min/mile -- either I am getting faster or this thing damn thing is broken -- fine I will take it to 7.5 min/mile... Running... Find your groove. And good heart rate steady... OOO I like this speed. Breathe, drop your shoulders, relax your hands, open your heart, bigger lungs, deeper breath, oh yeah reach into your back pocket -- practice form -- dang 137 bpm... Fast legs, feel good -- I dunno I will ask my coach... Okay take it down a notch... okay, I feel good 8.0 min/mile five miles in, this feels easy and good. I love running.... Yes, this is good heart rate a little low but what the heck. Pick up the speed and do not look at your watch for the rest of the time.... 8 minutes pass opps I peeked... Now I have to look! One more mile down. Strong run! Take it up notch or two 7.2 min/mile. I love this tread mill, maybe I should move the record player, oooo that plant is pretty. I need to sweep the floor, my son is such a good boy, wonder if he will like running. I wonder if I can break 7 miles in 60 minutes flat? I really want to, in fact I want 8 miles in and hour -- time... I know time, time and practice... Don't look at the TM screen... Running faster heart rate up into perfect range, smiling. Gotta look and YES bam boom bang. 7.39 miles -- stop. Breathe... Nice, I beat last Monday by .39 miles -- that is a start. (Personal pep talk) Good run lady "And the crowd goes wild" -- chuckle and laugh to myself. Cannot wait for tomorrows run! Heart rate training is awesome! (End silent conversation on with the day)

Deep thoughts from a runner lover -- ahhh life

Running holds many life lessons, it can answers the what if(s) and the why for(s), the what the(s) and maybe even the why me(s) 1) We must always move forward in order to make progress. 2) You are the only person responsible for your actions, your efforts. 3) Most times the most important thing is getting out there and trying. 4) If you do not try how will you know? 5) There are unknowns around every corner, but that does not mean you should not make the turn. 6) Winning isn't everything. 7) True peace comes with silence, movement and fresh air. 8) You are your own best competitor. 9) The most important element of success is placing one foot in front of the other. 10)It does not have to be fun to be fun. 11) When things get rough keep going it can only get better (eventually) 12) You are stronger than you think, when you stop over thinking 13) There is wisdom in the body moving, we just need to listen. 14) When you feel like quitting you have some much more to give. 15) The proof is in the pudding, I mean really who isn't hungry after a run :)

Running is Slowly Saving my Life -- as I Knew it and Know it

When I saw this picture I thought about how running is saving my life, at least as I know it. Over the course of my life time I have been heavy and thin, I have been an over eater and an under eater, I have been far too thin denying the fact that I was coping by not eating. It made me think about the fact that I used to be a full time smoker -- I smoked alone, with friends, when ever, where ever. Then I evolved into “just” a social smoker, even though I knew better. Looking back I started and quit many times. Why start again you ask? I can mark it with trauma, deep sadness and massive anxiety and frankly I liked it, I knew better and I knew I was “being bad”. Then I got pregnant and said never again, and then winked at myself on the inside, knowing that for some crazy reason I found escape in the process of smoking. I quit for a long time, tending my son -- growing my life. After Gage came into our lives, I took a look at myself and with the help of a few amazing friends I got into the best shape of my life, I did P90X, I did Mudder, I became an advocate for health and more importantly wellness, I started running as a part of my health and wellness, I was hooked. I ran half marathons, full marathons and to date 10 Ultra marathons between the years 2012 and 2013. Laced in this time I made incredible changes in my life, growing, learning, stumbling and falling, excelling and failing. I have workout out for hours a day and laid on the couch for just as many, I have run 100 miles in less than 33 hours; I have skipped training days and sat around beating myself up claiming I was not good enough. I have smoked, gained weight, lost weight, lost track and gotten back taking charge of this beautiful life. I believe that every day brings a new start and love that I have a strong connection with the sunrise. I have always seen the best in people and have learned that I am allowed to see the best in me too. I have not always been at my best, who can say they have? I have not been a perfect specimen of health throughout this process but what I know for sure is that running is slowly saving my life, making me see more clearly, feel more clearly, be more clear with who I am and what I want to give the world. Running is teaching me that the human body is a machine and needs to be tended to and that the mind and heart can be mended with time and with miles and perhaps best of all, the willingness to grow; to soar through the mud, and emerge on the surface something gorgeous and magnificent. The take away – look at your life, embrace it, embody it and then move forward glorious, magical, humble, brave and happy! You matter!

Running -- a Marriage

Running has this way of sweeping you off your feet in the beginning. It is like the only fresh breath of air you could never have imagined taking and you often wonder "What did I do without my darling love, Running?" We change when we start running in ways that can only be measured by the person who puts on their shoes everyday and makes contact with the earth, while at the same time taking flight. It is unique like each of us who fall so deeply in love with it. In the beginning, we will do anything for our lover, anytime, anywhere -- we just want to make sure that we are progressing just the way they are meant to be, falling deeper in love, building and understanding... Time moves and the level of commitment intensifies and the day come that we dive in for the life long commitment with our soul mate, the sweet love that helped us evolve and grow into the person that we are on that day. The wedding, the honeymoon, the settling into a wonderful routine -- all magical and yes we must work for it and we do. Time moves forward, as only time can, and one day it is raining "too hard" to go out and run and in the next few weeks we notice that things keep popping up and we are struggling with the "the run". It takes more effort, and sometimes we are up for it and sometimes we go through the motions, but we keep trying. Sometimes we fight and scream and stomp down the trail and sometimes we are silent, watching and wondering what to do next, what will be around the next corner. One day our running shoes peaking out from the shoe closet speak to us -- "Come on buddy, it is time to hit the trail/pavement for a long slow run, clear your head and run, run, run." We get out here, out from under all the obligations and responsibilities of life and we remember, life has a way of getting in the way of love and living, it sneaks up and before we know it we are too busy, too tired, we are bored and so many other natural emotion felt by the best of us. We remember that we are in this for the long haul -- rain or shine, we ride the waves of greatness and the magic that lives in the daily run. And we run on....

Time to Run

It has been 11 weeks since I ran IMTUF -- the race that two years in a row changed my life in ways that are beyond beautiful -- both as a runner and as a human! It has been a 6 weeks since Foothills Frenzy, my final ultra of the year -- the race with will forever live in my heart. I have taken the last several weeks to settle in and do some mindful reflection and frankly some time to just check out. I have spent time doing nothing, I have run here and there, practiced Yoga and been deeply honored by my community with an incredible celebration of my completion of the ITUS (which filled my heart to no end). The photos below just show a few of the magical people that have supported me on this journey.

Again, I reflect. Running is mine, running is me, running is my way of coping with life, running helps me cultivate a better me. It is my time to think, to be creative, to stay fit, running has helped me be a good role model for my son and my community, running has shown me that I CAN and WILL and DO! I have been working to accept this not running time, uninspired and needing a break -- two things I do not normally feel or take. However, it has given me time to look for balance, to accept help from my close friends and to spend time with my family. BUT IT IS GO TIME! This girl is growing her heart! I am ready to explore a new form of training and completely thrilled to learn and grow as a runner. I have been on blackout drive for months upon months and I am learning that less can be more, that being a human is amazing and having a team is food for the soul -- be it a team of two or ten and I have so many different teams my heart overflows! I am looking forward to some alone time on the roads and trails. I am looking forward to few ultras next year as well as some shorter races, I look forward to meeting new people and inspiring a few more along the way. This is me, this is my life and I am happy to shift, wiggle, learn and grow.... Run on friends!

ITUS Finisher

At last I sit down to write up my reflections on an amazing year! This year was long and luscious, run after run I settled into my Ultra Running self. Each race provided a foundation for the next -- in more ways than building endurance and strength. My foundations came in many different packages, bravery, courage, confidence, support, weakness, willingness, the fight, the effort, the unyielding desire to more ever forward -- I grew fierce with each step. If you were to ask me "How did you do it, right out of the box?" The short and simple answer is DESIRE -- I wanted it period... that is clear, yes I needed to be committed, steadfast, I had to push hard and not give up, I had to believe, I had to take a bite out of each race and tell myself "YES YOU CAN." I never once doubted myself (at least not for long) I couldn't, there was no time for that I had to keep moving, keep believing despite bumps and falls along the way; I had to fuel my desire! The longer answer to how I made it through all 8 races is both simple and complex, like all other things in ultra running, SUPPORT.

I had people who cared about me and my running, and this crazy thing I decided to do -- I had support even if I did not have a full understanding of why the hell I was doing this (thankfully I do not need that). I have a son who looks up to me, watches me, learns from me and imitates me. I have a family who I want to make proud, I had people relying on me to finish and to finish strong with a tale to tell. The love and support fueled my desire, when I was out there all alone begging for the strength to keep moving, the faces of my family and my fiends flashing in my mind, the thought that they were at home, or at the next turn cheering me on, waiting for me, believing in me. I did not want to let anyone down!

It is a mere three weeks since the final race of the ITUS -- this picture above shows without question my joy, my deep sense of completion and total elation! Since the finish line of the Foothills Frenzy I have felt a shift in my spirit -- a sense that I have a deep grasp on what I am capable of... When it comes down to it, be it running, raising a child, being a strong, loving wife, a quality friend, a good human and/or a great teacher; it all comes down to desire, if you want it... go for it. I have never believed so much in personal drive, commitment and the fact with all it takes is YOU to decide "I want to ________.", than I do right now. The ITUS was this crazy amazing gift, beyond my strong legs, powerful heart and propelling arms -- the ITUS provided me with a new lens to see more clearly the potential in all of us. I have and will continue to encourage and hopefully inspire other people to seek something wild wonderful and seemingly out of reach -- when people tell me "No way can I do that..." My reply is simple, if you want it, you most certainly can and I can prove it! I saw some absolutely amazing runners out there on the trails -- people who refused to give up, people who were on a mission, who wanted to cross the finish line for reasons so personal, so profound, that words cannot explain -- go to a finish line and see for yourself, PEOPLE ARE POWERFUL! To tie all this up and move on to the next run, the next race, the next adventure I will share the top five things that I learned my first BIG year of Ultra Running; 1. Trail Markers are a sign of hope and purpose especially at night. 2. Encouragement and support are essential on the long run, generally manifesting in an awesome Aid Station or an amazing crew. 3. It does not have to be fun, to be fun. 4. Power-hiking a lethal weapon in conquering 100 miles! 5. Riding the epic waves of emotions during a long race is both empowering and humbling.

Foothills Frenzy 2013

The cherry on top, the frosting on the cake. The Frenzy is a perfect way to top off a fantastic season of ultra running. Jenny the RD and all of the volunteers run a solid event that provided this year a 100% success rate, NOW THAT IS VERY COOL! The day started out much like the previous 7 race mornings this year had, I woke at 3:30, rose at 4:00 -- took some time to eat, stretch and drink. During my drive to the race start I was struck by how confident I felt, I am getting good at the race thing I thought. I was not nervous but rather just plain excited to run and to see some friends out on the trail. Upon arrival, I was warmly greeted as I pick up my race bib, I wandered around, gave and received hugs, exchanged smiles and felt a deep sense of peace.

I felt like I was among family, an ultra rad family. After a beautifully sung anthem it was time to run. We headed out fast as the level of excitement was palpable. For the first time this year I had a very good idea of what to expect course wise -- this was my first repeat. As we traversed up into the foothills I watch the bouncing headlamps ahead and behind and could not help but smile -- we lite up the hill side with passion, enthusiasm, commitment and hard work! The moment was perfect, the trail conditions comfortable, I felt good. I soon realized that my climbing legs were still really tired from Standhope, tight hamstrings and hips. I had come into the Frenzy thinking "Hmm it would be great to PR this race." At around mile 12 I tossed that idea and decided to have fun and not try to kill myself out there. Early in the year, I learned that you should never ever change the game plan in the middle of the game -- a PR was a game changer. Back to plan number one -- finish strong, have fun. Since this was number 8 I wanted to run well and top off the ITUS with a smile. Up and down and all around we went, I ran hard down the hills and climbed to the best of my legs ability. I knew the last 5 miles would be a push and I knew that those last 5 miles felt like 10, so I ran them hard, passed several runners and caught a glimpse of the finish line before I knew it.

The Frenzy finish was multi-layered! Super happy to have crossed the Frenzy finish line and perhaps even happier to have crossed the ITUS 2013 finish line. But that is another story.....

Standhope 60K AKA "The Higher I Get, the Higher I Get, the worse my altitude head ache gets" AKA "To Find the Trail Just Look for the Rocks"

The quick version of this report is as follows. Standhope 60K was an amazing race, it was very technical, incredibly steep, somewhat runnable, the views were like no other race I have ever done, I made the first cut off by a mere two minutes and I missed the final cut off by 38 minutes. I ran and hiked in beautiful country and despite my "late" finish I did it -- every single step. No excuses! Now for the details....

In the days leading up to the race I was apprehensive, everything that had been written about the race made me feel like this was a little out of my league. To be perfectly honest, I was not excited about running Standhope -- however I was FULLY committed to running all the races in the series so I gave myself no choice. I made the lovely 278.8 mile drive to Wild Horse Creek Ranch. The drive was amazing, I drove solo so I had time to think, sing at the top of my lungs and follow my own bliss -- I felt like I was on vacation with a nifty little run nestled in the middle. The Ranch was awesome, secluded and very comfortable. Shortly after I rolled in my good buddy Rachael showed up, we had planning on sticking together for this race since we both felt a little uneasy about the course. The evening flew by with a very brief race briefing, a yummy spaghetti dinner, lots of laughter and some excellent "zzzz". As always I opted for the early start, the morning was very pleasant at around 30 degrees. The anticipation of the day was palpable, I was finally feeling excited. We were on our way. It took most of the runners a little time to settle into a good pace and into the elevation. As we traversed up the trail the scenery began to unfold into what would turn out to be the most rugged terrain I have ever run.

Traveling in a nice little group of three made for a fun run early in the day. We got off course before reaching the first aid station -- which is never a good feeling. Luckily the three of us had a good deal of experience, we made some great decisions and were only off course for a few minutes. The trail was fairly runnable to the first aid station. And boy the first aid station was a doozy. We found a lone shoe at the AS that left all of us a little confused and disheartened... What the heck was a lone running shoe doing at the first aid station? We may never know :)

I have always loved to split my races up into sections, this race was no different. "I just have to get the the next aid station." is a statement I have told myself may times. With Standhope Rachael and I often went from one boulder to another boulder a few yards up. The air was thin and stopping frequently was part of our plan -- catch my breath, slow my heart rate -- run a happier, healthier race. The first two climbs were nothing compared to the third -- but we did not truly know this yet. The second climb was lush compared to the third. So many beautiful trees and shrubs and a wonderful trail up to the top, though it took my breath away and at times made me feel like it was very possible I could fall off the mountain I fully enjoyed all the climbing -- I am often at my best when I am climbing hard -- there are runs when I feel like I can eat the mountains up and at times on the first two climbs I felt my own power. Cresting the second climb was awesome!

Coming off of IMTUF 100 just three weeks prior to Standhope brought with it a new and different attitude and a recovering body. I had put a great deal of time into studying the course for IMTUF, I had pace charts and I knew to the best of my ability what to expect. For Standhope I was winging it, yes I knew what the elevation profile looked like, I read the description but I had ZERO expectation on myself or the race. Honestly, I just wanted to get it done...

I was determined to finish and honestly after the first two climbs I was certain I would finish with enough time in the day to enjoy the company of other Ultra runners,have a beer and a good dinner. My body felt strong and my mind was solid. What was to follow did not in fact provide me with an "early" finish. A point came in the race when we were slapped in the face with time, Fall Creek AS had a cut off of 1:45, when we realized we were cutting it very close we put the pedal to the metal. I can honestly say, if I can help it, I will NEVER EVER run cuts offs again, the stress is not fun. We hit Fall Creek with two tiny minutes to spare -- we were rushed in and out so quickly that I did not have time to get enough food -- soon I would be looking at the biggest climb of the day and the longest slowest miles to the finish and I was feel demoralized by the close call and the rushing. We stomped up the hill and munched on what we had. It was here that I questioned my race "What the hell am I doing out here and why the hell is it taking so long." I cleared my head and pushed on -- RESET! We have plenty of time, no worries enjoy this! The little baby climb out of mile 20 was fun and forested, I felt better and was looking forward to seeing some alpine lakes and felt a nervous excitement about the big climb. We ran deep down into the basin -- which I will add is at roughly 7000 feet so down is not truly what it is comparably to my 1803 at home. We ran the flats and power hiked the steep parts, we found boulder mountain sides and alpine lakes. One thing can be said for this course -- it was breathtakingly beautiful! As I said I break races down into baby bites and this next bite for Betty Lake and she was very elusive! At some point to follow both Rachael and I fell apart, at separate times thankfully. It was the falling apart that I treasure the most out of this racing experience. Holding another runner up when she has lost her mojo, is feeling broken, cannot believe we are in the bottom of a basin with no portal is nothing short of empowering, it is essential, it builds deep bonds and ignites a fire within both runners. We were in it together. The only way we were gonna get home was to go UP UP UP and OVER! The only way out was UP. Step by step, boulder to boulder, tree to tree, breath to breath, the slow slog up. At one point I sat down on a rock with my head in my hands declaring it would most certainly take us two and a half effing hours to get to the top -- the words power and hike were in a fight at this point. "Get up Mariah we gotta get out of here." She was right... We pressed on. As we moved up the vegetation disappeared and it was the steepest rock field I had ever been this close to. All I could think was that there was no possible way we were going up and over "that" point. We could not see the trail from out vantage and when we finally did I was honestly afraid to stop for fear of falling backwards. I got very good at the turn around stabilizing stop to catch my breath move. It only took us 45 minutes... Once we crested, I spotted Betty Lake and boy howdy she was really far down there! Steep, Steep, Steep! We rolled in, thankfully we did not technically roll in, I am fairly certain they were very happy to see us --but not as happy as we were to see them. We had known since Fall Creek that we were dead last since we were the last to make the cutoff. I might add at this point that the very best part about being last was the fact that in this inaugural race we would always hold the title of being "the first to be last." Ahh yes no one can ever take that title!

With a little more than 6 miles to the finish we had to kick it into gear, Rachael was struggling with a bad altitude headache and some nausea. We were instructed that we had to go UP again, we were not impressed but again -- we are strong minded ultra runners and we pressed on. I was ready to eat that mountain for dinner, I felt my power! I had to search for flags, not a wonderful feeling. I went ahead as Rachael took some time to get herself settled. After finding the flag I yelled down to her "Come on girl we gotta go, get up here!!!". The next two mile section was technical but runnable, it felt great to stretch my legs after climbing for so long. The air changed. The trail soften beneath my feet and Rachael caught up taking the lead in her strong suit -- the downhill. We ran and soon found the forest again and it was time for headlamps. A few of the flags to the finish had been removed, we had learned that if we did not see a flag for a certain period we must be off track -- we turned around thinking we had taken a wrong turn in the dark; only to find out we were inside of a mile from the finish. Our dreams of finishing before the cut off had faded 20 minutes before. For the first time this year I ran face to face with the "Sweep". Mike Blessing was a sight for sore eyes, he hugged me and turned us around and pushed us to the finish line-- he saw "that look" in my eye and reminded me "Mariah you are awesome you got it." It was the darkest most anticlimactic finish of the year... of my racing life. I was deeply disappointed, at that moment, and the tears poured out of my eyes-- I could not stop them. I was bummed.... It will never cease to amaze me how the mind works, we had an hour drive back the Wild Horse Creek Ranch. I was quiet for the first half, then I started to settle into the fact that I finished -- I DID IT! Yes it was 38 minutes past the friggin cut off but I finished, I did not quit, I did not get pulled -- I FINISHED! Soon I was smiling about the experience. I hit many highs and many lows on that day-- before, during and after the race. My take away.... Ultra friendships are amazingly strong, I will not do this race again, I learned a great deal, I grew as a runner and as a person while I was out there. I am happy I did it, I would not have it any other way. NO EXCUSES! Seven down one to go!

The Crew and the Pacers

Again my thoughts return to the fact that these lofty goals that we set for ourselves as long distance runners -- cannot and would not come to such amazing fruition without powerful, driven, loving supports! They say that all things happen for a reason, that people come into your life because it is meant to be -- not only for you but also for them. The crew and pacers that came together to help me achieve a great and happy finish at IMTUF was nothing short of "right on radical". As "the runner" it is difficult to know all that goes into driving all over the mountains logging far more than 100 miles, waiting for my arrival and being prepared for anything that I might request, and offering me everything under the sun and moon in selfless style, with kindness, seriousness and humor. The crew must have one main goal -- get the runner to the finish line healthy and in the time the runner has in mind; this sounds simple-- but no. Imagine standing the cold at 4 am waiting for your runner to appear at the Aid Station -- not knowing what she will be feeling or needing and knowing that she is so close -- well over half way, she is nearly home, the excitement and exhaustion equally potent, as a group you are hoping that she feels strong and that she is not injured -- and still you must wait. As the runner comes into the A.S joy, elation, tears, love, exhaustion.... Feed her, hug her encourage her, keep her moving, it is not time to celebrate yet -- four minutes of hustle and she is gone, you know you will not see her again for hours,and those hours... well they are always unknown. The role of crew is so powerful, as a runner words cannot express my admiration for "The Crew". The space in-between crewing the runner, can ,I am sure, be long and at times grueling -- if that is true my crew never wavered, not in my presence. While I spent less than 30 minutes with my crew over the 33 hours and 28 minutes of running -- there is one thing I know for sure, these people bonded. A bond that happens with hours of going here and there, with hours of staying awake when sleep was needed, with being pushed to the limit and with one goal in mind -- the runners success. Pretty powerful stuff right there! My crews had unique dynamic -- I had a few friends that had never crewed a runner but knew me well, and I had a few that have crewed several runners over the years, everyone took it seriously with a fabulous infusion of humor, assertiveness and kindness. I am fairly certain my crew created memories they will not soon forget. The bond woven together with raw emotion and focus! I have heard stores of their journey and it makes my heart sing that they laughed hard, cried hard and felt like they had purpose.

As with all big endeavors, I had a plan. I would pick up my first pacer at mile 44 and at this time I would also see my crew. Meeting up with Mike Blessing was great! His role was to get me through the night, his goal was to push me and get me a strong finish-- sounds simple, nope not so. Again, this whole thing is based on the runner -- but I will say without a shadow of a doubt the pacer can easily set the race in motion and if they are good... well -- GREAT things happen. Pacers, like the crew are selfless, if they hurt to bad, it is not their race, if they are struggling, to bad it is not their race -- Pacing can be grueling (I have yet to pace but I sure hope I get the opportunity next year). As Mike said to me shortly after I picked him up -- "I am doing this for you, this race is not about me... This is your race and I am honored you asked me to help.. now let's go." Traipsing up and down mountains in the dark, leading a runner to the dawn is nothing short of awesome. With every reflective marking and "glowie" Mike would say -- "Look there it is, you know what that is a sign of??? HOPE." Even when it was grueling, even when a mile felt like ten -- Mike saw hope and he saw the finish -- my finish.

I would pick up my second pacer (my finish line pacer)at mile 86, I would also see my crew for the last time until we were near the end. Randy Benthin came in with a good deal of experience. Again, the goal -- get the runner to the finish in the time she is looking for. Randy was clear setting pacing goals, and making sure I took in enough calories. It was a slug fest -- I will say that not knowing your pacer can work to your advantage -- I mean who wants to bitch and moan and whine in front of a person they have only just met! Randy took me up and down the trail telling stories to get my mind off my feet and asking questions to make sure I was in "good shape", again great pacer qualities. There are so many awesome things that happen out there on the trail hours pass by in the "real world", but for the runner and her crew and pacers things are different bonds are made, a job gets done -- forgive me but I have to say "shit changes out there."

At the risk of sounding redundant here WOW WOW WOW -- best crew, best plan, best pacers EVER, they say that when things can line up on race day great finishes happen! It was so great I am already ready to do it again. Buckle bound 2014!

Celebration time with the crew! Oh YEAH!!!!

As it turns out I am TUF enough

The gathering started at Burgdorf Campground on Thursday as my crew and I set up for the epic weekend we had all been planning for, for so many months. Our camp was off the hook amazing! We had everything we needed and more thanks to Hannah, the Clooch Crumpster crew boss! After getting the details for the Clooch 4's aid station set, we relaxed at camp until the pre-race meeting. I felt great as we headed over to get signed in, then Jeremy started talking about the course -- I thought my heart would burst out of my chest. My thoughts swirling -- rugged, epic, back country, wolves, steep climbs, water drops, limited aid, bear bags, we do not want lost runners, long nights, hot days -- the meeting was woven with excitement and seriousness. In closing we took a few group photos and headed back to camp to study the map -- thank goodness for Jim and Jane -- map masters and Ultra grounders!

I slowly started to settle in and get my head in the game. I was ready for the night to pass and for the morning to come. I slept well, running in my dreams so when I woke up at 4:00am I was warmed up and ready to roll. This was the best race day morning I have ever had - surrounded by my crew, my husband and Gage. I felt ready and settled. 6:00am struck and we were off, the climb up to Cloochman was swift -- time moved quickly, as the sun rose we were traveling up, up, up, in a small wonderful pack of runners -- I felt at home. Reaching Cloochman was in a word -- AWESOME! It was ten months ago in that very spot that I fell in love with Ultra running and made the lofty commitment to run IMTUF 100 2013. It was blue sky day with a chance of rad with a capital "R"! I left Cloochman with some food and a smile -- seeing my crew for the first time was sweet, they ran a great aid station at mile 9.5 -- "I was Clooched!" I moved on down the trail feeling strong and steady. I had committed to power hiking all the big hills and keeping a super smart and steady pace -- I wanted a finish after all. I had the honor of running the first 44 miles with a beautiful Ultra runner -- Rachael Bazzett. We fully enjoyed the miles as they ticked off. The Crestline Trail was wicked rad and had its tough moments -- it was many, many miles between aid stations, it was rugged! Moving up and up and up we soon came to a seriously technical downhill, loose rock, steep descent into the green lushness near mile 44.

It was here that I would see my crew again and hook up with my pacer Mike Blessing -- who would take me through the night and a good portion of the following morning. Rolling into 44 I was happy and on fire from seeing "my people". I was ready to run it out and enter into the unknown that the night would certainly hold -- Mike was ready to help me chase down some runners and that is exactly what we did. Mike pushed me in ways I am sure would not and could not have done for myself -- in a word he was "Awesome!". As the night sky surrounded us -- moonless with billions of stars we ran on, passed a few runners and came upon a few that were mixed up on the trails direction -- we picked up a two runners on the ascent to Snowslide. It was very dark and very steep, Up and down we went running, shuffling and scooting to the sound of Moe's voice -- one of the most committed and excited volunteers of the race. Her hoots and hollers were welcome sounds and the warm embrace was pretty perfect too! Soon we would hit Duck Lake and mile 60 -- a celebration I was now well over half way. The Duck Lake volunteers were kind and familiar faces -- I LOVE THAT! I ate well (maybe too well) and moved ever forward. Heading for mile 70.1 -- somehow hitting mile 70 meant I was home free in my mind and that I would most certainly finish this bad boy! I was extremely pleased that I have been running about an hour ahead of schedule the entire race -- super consistent. I got to see my team again and again I was pumped! Upper Payette Lake meant 70.1 miles I ran in happy and so excited to see my crew -- Jim and Jane asked questions to make sure I was warm enough, they got me food and set me straight for what to expect the in final 30 or so miles. When I heard I would not see another full aid station for 16 miles I broke just slightly. Paul Lind came to me and said "It is time for you to go, you are too happy to be hanging around here. Get it! Get to the finish line! Time for you to go!!" Or something to that effect. I lost it, shed a few tears into the shoulder and neck of Hannah.

The last thing I remember as I turned to leave the aid station was the amazing encouragement of my crew and the awesome aid station volunteers. Now, this does not mean I was not doing a "Mad Stomp" up the hill and out of the A.S -- I was a little pissed; to the amusement of my pacer and the the benefit of my finish time. It turns out that the "Mad Stomp" is pretty fast and very efficient! Anger can be an asset late in the race. Victor Creek was a crusher at over 2000 feet elevation gain over a few rough miles. Daylight came and the new day gave me hope, the light was a welcome sight. The miles between Upper Payette and Chinook Campground were in a word "Brutal"-- was it the miles, the time on my feet, the dust, the fact that is felt longer than it should, the space between aid, my own exhaustion -- I have no idea but it was hard. It was between Victor Creek and Willow Basket that I saw cars and tents that did not exist, I hear voices and felt the miles slow. When we finally made it to Willow Basket it was a long 3 miles to my crew and my next pacer Randy -- I was ready to get a boost and I know that my pacer was ready to sit down and have a beer -- a WELL DESERVED beer! As we approached the bridge to the Aid Station and my crew I was on a mission.

I needed to change my shoes and socks and I needed Jim to fix my feet. In a word my feet were "trashed" -- I had been lucky enough to keep my feet mostly dry until about mile 80. My feet were soaked and not happy, I had hot spots and wicked rubbing. I was all business at this point -- I said something to the effect of "I need Jim, I need new shoes and socks , I know they are bad -- please do not say a word about exactly how bad they are, I don't want to know..."

A quick good fix and I was on my way a short 16 miles to go -- yeah that 16 felt like 30 miles! Randy and I hit the trail and slowly made our way home. The first few steps into the final miles -- Pacer asks Runner "How do you want to finish?" "What do you have left?" "Can you run the down hills?" Runner to Pacer "I want 33 hours but I do not know if I have it in me." I want to run as much as possible and power hike the hills." "Randy I want this! Bad!"

What would follow in the coming miles was a few ups and several downs. To put it blunt my feet hurt and I was bonking!! Everything else was great but my feet got the best of my mind several times. Randy bossed me, pushed me and let me lag behind -- he has a gift. The final miles are wildly vivid and at the same time a total blur. The on going joke was that I had 10 miles or so to go -- no matter how far we had gone. I have seldom passed other runners in the end of a race -- it just so happens that the pacers I had looked at this event as a race -- therefore I passed people and this gave me an odd unfamiliar strength, thanks to my pacer I found a little extra energy in the tank to run strong at the very end of a long day, night and day. I was emotional -- I was both full and empty. Oddly I hesitated as we made the run to the finish line. So much planning, training, such a fast track to my fist 100 mile race and now the finish line.

I crossed over with a smile, gave myself a few steps and turned around to see the most amazing people I know, my crew, my family, my fellow Ultra runners all ready to congratulate me. Hugs, tears, relief, gratitude, elation, and a cold beer! Boy that beer tasted great!

27 starters 19 finishers, 3rd women and 11th overall but very very very best of all I did it and I did it my way on a fast track from IMTUF 2012 -- this was my 8th ultra and my first hundred all in less than a year. I ran this bad boy 33 hours and 28 minutes...

Pretty cool -- no.... pretty friggin RAD! Shoes off time to celebrate!

Next up Standhope 60K

More than me!

Deciding, planning, training for and running a 100 mile race is not, all in all, a solitary adventure. While many of my training miles to date have been solo I have an amazing family and group of friends and supporters rooting me on. To embark on such a journey, as this, time away from family is a given -- countless hours of training in the mountains and on the road is time spent away from my son and husband. I woke most weekdays before they were out of bed to get in a run and many, many weekend days I was out all day while they played and did life without me. It is not always easy to be a spouse of an Ultra runner; it takes patience and understanding, but most importantly it takes time. Steven has driven me to race starts and waited for me at the finish line nearly every race. At Wilson Creek Frozen 50K he waited 2 extra hours in the freezing cold for me to finish. We have traveled several hours to get to races, taking time away from other family activities to make it all happen. I am lucky! While I know that my husband does not fully understand my desire to run far, he does love the me that loves running far. My journey to my first 100 mile race has taught me about love, motherhood, balance in a marriage, push and pull, effort and ease, it has taught me about commitment and true friendship, this journey thus far has reviled to me a drive to be AWESOME! I want to finish what I start not only in the racing sense of the word but also in the life sense. I am making it happen for my family, I am teaching my son that anything is possible if you want it bad enough and if you are willing to work for it. And if you are willing to work for it remember to ask for help and to be willing to show both strength and weakness. With just a few days before I step on to the IMTUF course; I feel grateful that I let people in and that I have shared this journey, even when it did not seem all that interesting, I feel ready in mind and body, most of all I feel supported by a great big handful of people both near and far. I will resist the urge to get up and give me very best Oscar Award winning speech, at least until after the race....